Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
