It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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