The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
