At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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