So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
