i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
