Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
