I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize