remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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