ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
