we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
