handjob tips. give me some.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
