But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
