i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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