he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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