Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
