sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
