I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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