is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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