i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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