Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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