He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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