This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
