I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
