So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
