I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
