you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
