Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

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(847): View more from Illinois

2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.

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(330): View more from Ohio

its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays

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(587): View more from Alberta

You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.

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(914): View more from New York

Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her

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(765): View more from Indiana

Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.

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