Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
