I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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