you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
