Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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