my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
smell my finger.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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