Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It's Friday. Sex?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
