alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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