Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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