Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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