Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
