i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
