This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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