I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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