At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
