somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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