yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
