Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
