you're like a bully in the Christmas story
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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