It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
