Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
