I'm lost and stupid without you.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize