I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
