last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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