His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
