I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize