What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
