your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
