you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
