I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
