I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
