i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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