Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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