my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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