i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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