i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
