What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
