Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
